Stupid Things Parents SayDigimon Style
by Matrix Taylor
Summary: As parents we have said things to our children that in that specific moment needed to be said. But sometimes, as husband and wife, you will back out of that moment and look at each other and go, "What the hell did you just say?"
1. Your Panties Are On Backwards

Stupid Things Parents Say

By: Matrix Taylor

Type: Humor/Parody/Family

Rated: T (Because of the language…I think)

Anime: Digimon

SUMMARY: As parents we have said things to our children that in that specific moment needed to be said. But sometimes, as husband and wife, you will back out of that moment and look at each other and go, "What the hell did you just say?" So, here is a list of things that the digidestines, as parents, have said to their children and probably hope to stop saying sometime in the future. LOL

Each part of the story is told from the point of view of each digi destined. Each joke is not in order. I wrote according to inspiration.

**Inspired by Jeff Dunham's Stupid Stuff Parents Say**

DISCLAIMER: Digimon does not belong to me, but to their rightful owners & distributors. The jokes used for & in this fic do not belong to me but to Jeff Dunham. I am simply just borrowing his work.

Your Panties Are On Backwards

Right after defeating Malismyotismon, Sora and I ended up married and having two-in-a-half wonderful kids. Our daughter, Mie, is five years old and the spitting image of her mother. Mie has auburn hair as well as some of her mother's personality. She just simply inherited my blue eyes. Her brother, Kai, took more after me with somewhat spiky blonde hair. He only had Sora's eyes. So in turn, our kids turned out to look more like us when we were little, with some slight changes of course. Sora often joked that the baby she carries may turn out to look like T.K.

I was not amused…

Anyway, as all parents do, Sora and I go through "stages" with each of our children. For example, when Mie was three, she went through what Sora and I dubbed "the panties stage". Mie was smart, even for a three year old. However, she just did not seem'  
to grasp the fact that your panties just do not go a certain way. The poofie part always ended up in the front and the cartoon character's face was stretched in the back. We did not discourage her because we knew she just did not get it. Our son…however…did it on purpose.

So everyday, Sora and I always ended up telling her, "Your panties are on backwards."

One day, I actually thought of something brilliant. Okay, so it was a "spare of the moment" thing but it worked! One day I simply bent down so that we were sort of face-to-face and I said, "Sweetie, do you really want to poop on Tinkerbell's face?"

Solved that problem! Of course, it took us awhile to figure out that the reason she puts her Barney underwear on was so she can poop on Baby Bop's face! Thank goodness when that stage ended! Hey you can't win them all!


	2. Burp In Her Panties!

Stupid Things Parents Say

By: Matrix Taylor

Type: Humor/Parody/ Family

Rated: T (Because of the language...I think)

Anime: Digimon

SUMMARY: As parents we have said things to our children that in that specific moment needed to be said. But sometimes, as husband and wife, you will back out of that moment and look at each other and go, "What the hell did you just say?" So, here is a list of things that the digidestines, as parents, have said to their children and probably hope to stop saying sometime in the future. LOL.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Finally, here is the second part to this fic. Hope you enjoy it! This one is Takuya's P.O.V.

**Inspired by Jeff Dunham's Stupid Things Parents Say**

DISCLAIMER: Digimon does not belong to me, but to their rightful owners & distributors. The jokes used in this fic do not belong to me but to Jeff Dunham. I am simply borrowing his work.

Burp In Her Panties!

Although we were no longer in the digiworld, we were all split up again. However, we all kept in touch. And of course, we never forgot what happened in the digital world. Now, we are all grown up and living out our lives however we want. All of us have a career and family. I, myself, am married with three little, count them, three little girls. In other words, a house filled with women! Yikes!

As parents, both I and my wife are responsible for raising respectable children. So, in doing so, my wife and I has set down some rules. Okay, so my wife set up most of the rules. I just try to at least not break half of them in front of the girls. Hey! I'm not perfect! One of the rules we both agreed upon was to outlaw the use of the word fart in our house. We reached this agreement right after our second daughter was born and she began using the words like she was saying the alphebet. Somehow, I was blamed for it.

Anyway, one day, we were all out at the mall with my friends J.P., Koji, Tommy, Zoe, and Koichi, as well as their children, when my youngest daughter, Sara, decided at the very moment as we were going to get ice cream to let one rip.

That's when my middle child said : "Ew...you...burped in you panties!"

My wife put her hand to her forehead and sighed, shaking her head. I could hear my friends snickering.

"Hey! Nice save!" I say to my second oldest daughter Taiya giving her a thumbs up.

That's when my wife gave me "The Look!" You all know what I'm talking about! You know the look! The one your mother gives you when you're in trouble? Yeah...the look! Anyway, we've took a page out of the kids book and started using the expression. Unfortunately, it's not so cute when an adult says it!

But look on the bright side, at least no one's saying fart!


	3. Get Your Sister Out Of Your Mouth

Stupid Things Parents Say

By: Matrix Taylor

Type: Humor/Parody/Family

Rated: T (Because of language)

Anime: Digimon

SUMMARY: As parents we have said things to our children that in that specific moment needed to be said. But sometimes, as husband and wife, you will back out of that moment and look at each other and go, "What the hell did you just say?" So, here is a list of things that the digidestines, as parents, have said to their children and probably hope to stop saying sometime in the future. LOL.

Each part of this story is told from the point-of-view of a digi-destined. Each joke is not in order. I wrote according to inspiration. This one I heard my aunt say to her kids and thought it would be a good one to add to the collection.

**Inspired by Jeff Dunham's Stupid Stuff Parents Say**

DISCLAIMER: Digimon does not belong to me, but to their rightful owners & distributors. The jokes used in this fic do not belong to me but to Jeff Dunham. I am simply borrowing his work.

Chapter 3: Get Your Sister Out Of Your Mouth

Being a mother is a full-time job even though I do not get paid for it. My husband, Ken Ichijouji, and his digimion, Wormmon, works as detectives. When did this happen? A few years after, with the help of the other digidestines, we defeated Malismyotismon. Now we have all grown older and doing our own thing. Nevertheless, we stil keep in touch and get together. Even they have children.

Ken and I have one daughter, who is now a pre-teen, and two sons. Our daughter, Yuna, has Ken's dark blue hair, but more of a spitting image of me. Our first son, Sam, is ten years old with short, light purple hair. He takes the color of his hair from me. However, he sort of takes after Ken too. Sam was named after Ken's older brother. Lastly is our current son, Kensei, who is just a baby. He also seem to have Ken's dark hair.

Ken and I both try and raise respectable children. Sometimes we disagree, but, we eventually work it out. Anyway, like all parents, even we deal with the different stages our kids go through. For example, Ken and I both had to go through the teething stage with both Sam and Yuna when they were much younger. It is a stage that Ken and I both will have to go through with Kensei when he finally starts teething. The teething stage with Yuna wasn't as bad. She was just fussy. My husband says she got that from me...I disagreed. I think when Sam began teething when he was about one years old was more interesting because that is when he started sticking everything in his mouth! Whatever he had in his hands ended up in his mouth including human parts such as fingers and toes. It wasn't so bad, until Sam grew his first two teeth on the bottom and top right in the front of his mouth. That's when the trouble started...

The first time I remember saying this line was during a trip to the supermarket with the kids. Our third son, Kensei, was yet to be born. Sam was riding inside of the buggie in the little seats they have for toddlers. Yuna was five and rode on the side of the buggie, holding on tight. I wouldn't allow her to do this at first, afraid that she might fall off and hurt herself, but after awhile I find that it was easier to keep up with her. Plus, even then, Yuna was a very smart young woman. Anyway. we were all in the meat isle and I was getting meat when suddenly I heard Yuna scream ow!

"Mama! Make him stop!" Yuna cried as Kensei grabbed a handful of her already long hair and put it in his mouth.

"Kensai! Get your sister out of your mouth! She's not food!" I scold him.

Instantly, he let go of Yuna and makes a whining sound.

I walked over and stick the pacifer in his mouth before going back to choosing the meats I wanted to buy. We got out of the supermarket in one piece. Nevertheless, I thought that after that day, I would never going to say that phrase again. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Not only was I finding myself saying, but Ken began saying it as well. Worse, we'll be saying it for a few more years given the fact that we have yet another one on the way.

Aw well! You win some! You lose some!


End file.
